Heads at the Little Big Farm. 4.

1984. Structural Incongruities.

“Nature exists in dynamic, adaptive systems, processes of growth, evolution, erosion and flow that don’t follow rigid geometries. Life is constant motion and the avoidance of right angles is a rejection of static order in favour of resilience, flexibility, and continuous transformation. These are qualities that when embraced allow life and creativity to thrive and when rejected, the opposite.”

Konsk: inappropriate patterning.

There is a remembering of the Family. Here is what is happening.

The body possessed by Learner is sitting cross-legged on the floor. He has forgotten his little indie-self and communes with the nature of the universe. The ancestors sit in the shadows at the back of his head and provide much needed comfort.

The little body is burdened with a pair of boxer shorts adorned with a smiling yellow sun disk. It sits before the dark bulk of a one-way programming device, although there is as yet no current awareness that this is its true function. The device is energised but is not connected to any form of receiver and thus displays only a random field of white and grey spots that appear to pulsate and swirl, casting a flickering light into the otherwise darkened interior.

The device has been delivering the same message since Learner took up occupation of this body, five and one solar cycles ago. He knows this length of time has elapsed because he has followed Smiler’s method of creating recordings, through making marks upon a surface by the entrance to the structure, one mark for each passing cycle.

This particular surface, on which he has made the marks, has baffled him. At first he considers it to be an impossibly bright, blue, thin stone, shaped to fit around the entrance. By way of experiment he has scratched away at the shiny blue and to his great surprise he realised by the smell and taste lay below, though he cannot conceive of how it has been persuaded to grow so perfectly straight and with such a precise grooving to it.

He has made the marks with an implement discovered within a container in another part of the structure. Again, he is baffled by the implement, both to its purpose and method of construction. It is similar to the constructions of the metal workers in that it has a handle and a form of blade. He touches it carefully, holding the handle that is formed from an unknown material, hard and cold though not a metal and of a remarkable orange colour.

The metal blade is thin and round with a cross shape on the end. Learner takes especial care not to touch this material. He has tried using the object as though it were a weapon, going through the postures he knows from observing the metal workers' warrior practising. Certainly he could kill with it, if required, yet it does not feel right. However, it is useful for scratching the marks and he accepts that this may be its purpose, leaving it by the entrance.

For much of his first day in the body, in the structure, Learner remained largely motionless, swamped by waves of terror at the impossible strangeness of it all. Seated before the glowing snowfield displayed on the great device, his consciousness moved in and out of a dream-time; it explored the new body, flowing through the muscle and bone, sensing the condition of tendon and ligament, the pitifully thin layer of fat; it observed the snow screen, recognising in it the intricate patterns of chaos; it examined the onrush of terror corresponding to the cacophony of sounds that erupt from both without and within the structure and when it all gets too much, it retreated into the safety of the family and consulted with the ancestors and family members.

After the first day has darkened and only distant shouts and the occasional roar penetrate the structure, Learner overcomes his fear and bids the new body rise to its feet. Silently he performs his dance, allowing himself to seep into the strange and unfamiliar limbs and joints of the new body, thus beginning to claim it for his own.

When he has completed the movements he feels better. Although the body is not as flexible as his past one, he knows it will suffice and given time, will improve. He subsequently practises the dance at regular intervals, at the joints in the day; that is, the rising and setting of the big light, and also at the mid-points of the times of light and dark. He chooses these times as best he can, given that he can neither easily observe the big light’s passage through the sky during the day, nor the movement of the stars at night.

At first he is convinced that death in The Really Heavy Now is immanent, so radically and disturbingly different and aggressive does he find it all. At every moment he expects the occurrence of some unknown but fatal event and lives in a state of perpetual, suppressed panic, (it is only much later that he comes to realise that this is perfectly normal for those living in The Really Heavy Now).

Yet the longer he survives the more he comes to accept that it is not simply out to get him and that a familiar benign indifference pervades this reality also. Even so, there are many moments when it takes him completely by surprise and sends him into a whirl of utter panic, causing a retreat to that inner space.

Over the ensuing days Learner becomes more familiar with his body and considers an exploration of the structure. This has initially terrified him, so much so that he has spent much of his time with his eyes closed, refusing to see the horrible straightness, the precisely flat planes and the hard angles where they meet. The structure oppresses him with its waves of regularity that perturb the aura of his awareness, adding a jangling, harsh, textural quality to his experience of this now.

Again, after some time, more than a complete cycle, when he has not died or otherwise been forced to leave the body, he allows himself to conclude that although painful in its effect, the structure is not consciously or deliberately hostile, just oppressive.

So Learner began to explore the interior. With so little underpinning knowledge as to the nature and background of The Really Heavy Now, other than that it is supposedly Really Heavy, he proceeds with the utmost caution. After all, he has been advised by his brother, the dreaming Erak, of such mysteries as the invisible energy that can kill without warning and the deadly vehicles that are likened to moving containers that roar.

This first cave in which he found himself is several paces along each of its disturbingly regular four sides. The top is within his finger reach, just. One side contains the elaborate surfaces and boundaries upon which he has made the marks, one for each passing cycle. This structure surrounds what he later comes to term the main opening.

A second side holds what he at first he takes to be another entrance or exit. This is shrouded in materials constructed from very fine, intricately woven fibres. He can tell this by examining the decorative tears and holes where the edges have been frayed into their constituent strands. He is amazed at the delicacy of the weave and shakes his head, making a cooing sound in the back of his throat.

He soon realises however that this is not in fact an opening as immediately behind the hanging material is an invisible, rigid surface on which he bangs his head. Initially he is shocked and it is some moments before he dares to raise a tentative hand to it. He finds that it is cold and not quite invisible, as he can both see it and through it.

Just beyond this remarkable surface is a dense mass of vegetation that covers the outside of the opening completely. He does not recognise the plant though it reminds him of an arid landscape shrub, one used to make a potent poison. During the day, a modicum of light filters through this thicket of twigs and by peering very carefully it is occasionally possible to gain brief glimpses of movement in an outside world, though he is unable to make out actual forms.

Concentrating his study on the interior, he runs his hands over the surfaces of the sides or walls, disturbed by the rigid precision of the planes, the complexities of the patterning, so different from the curves of the caves or temporary shelters of bend sticks and skins that he knows. He is soon pushed towards a realisation that, rather than being a found object, such as a cave, it is in fact a hugely elaborate construction, hard as that is to believe.

The lower surface of the structure, the ground on which he sits, so to speak, is constructed of flat wood with no bark and is thickly ornamented with objects and materials. These form a rich mosaic and include pieces of the wall covering, a great variety of small containers (all empty), quantities of minor debris and layers of dust. It takes a considerable time to examine it all, turning each lump of broken plaster in his long fingers, drawing experimentally with them on the ground.

Apart from the device that displays the glowing snowstorm there is only one other object of any size in the cave. It is as long as he is tall, as wide as his outstretched arm and a hand span deep. It is covered with a woven textile of plant origin having many decorative holes and tears and he is at a loss as to its purpose as it is far to soft to sit or sleep on.

A third side contains another baffling feature, not unlike a place of power. This is a recess or small cave within which one might place an object suitable for receiving projected energy; such were the customs of the metal workers in other days. Might not a similar practice exist here?

On closer inspection Learner discovers that the recess contains some ash and blackened sticks, the remains of a fire. There is an opening in the top, presumably where smoke may make its way out. Does then this recess function as a firepit for the preparation of burnt offerings?

Learner inwardly consults Twm and Smiler but as yet they can provide no simple answer. Learner licks a thumb, the left, and dips it into the ash. He draws a complex curve (a lazy S, though he does not yet know this name for it) on the soft stone above the recess. Then he licks again and this time selects some of the sooty deposit from the fire surround, drawing a line of black shadow beneath the curve.

Twm, looking through Learner’s eyes, approves and suggests using the pigment to encode their discoveries in pictorial form. Smiler, perhaps more concerned with comfort, would rather see a small fire made in the pit for warmth. Learner saves both these options for further consideration.

The fourth side of the main cave provides another opening, this time with neither a wooden blockage nor the rigid transparent material and towards the end of the second cycle Learner dares to venture through.

Beyond, he discovers a smaller, narrower, darker cave, lined on one side with elaborate containers made from pieces of tree, all following the same monotonous geometry, (he was later to find that this same rigid, linear pattern was repeated throughout the architecture and townscapes of the Really Heavy Now).

An artist has used various striking colours for the containers, such as brilliant orange, spring green and sky blue. It appears that some form of construction is still taking place as the openings to the containers are often uncovered, the relevant shapes of wood lying in pieces upon the ground or possibly hanging by one attachment and at an angle.

Within these larger containers are many more, smaller containers of a bewildering diversity of design and material including what he believes to be something like gourds or pots but formed from the rigid transparent material.

Others are contrived from the extremely thin wood displaying incredibly detailed though caricatured reproductions of indies wearing the false smiles of pretence.

Others are formed from metal, in turn encircled by pieces of the very thin wood and he is able to handle them, with care, though he is still aware of subtle changes to his body aura. They are heavy and seem to be filled with something that sloshes back and forth as he shakes them experimentally.

The thin wooden covering has been decorated with a variety of images, signs and symbols, the meaning of which are still a mystery to Learner. He is able to identify the pictorial representation of a scavenging meat eater, the ones who generally hunt in packs, though he cannot grasp what this might signify. These containers have no visible opening and despite careful examination he is forced to put them to one side.

Many of the transparent containers are filled with substances, mostly moulds and fungi which intrigue learner considerably. He feels that these might be especially nutritious or medicinal. The containers are jumbled together yet a majority of them are oriented in a particular direction, appearing to have a top, generally of metal. This precludes the possibility of opening them and he is forced to set them aside for now.

Other containers, notably those made from thin tree material, are more accessible and he comes across a variety of contents, some of which he is able to identify as food. These include a quantity of grain or seed, although something had been done to it in order to make it flat and crunchy. He tentatively tries one piece, first marvelling at the incredible sweetness and then gagging on some poisonous addition. Disappointed, he spits the remainder out.

Supported on the large containers is an elaborately shaped metal object that he studies meticulously while ensuring that he does not come into physical contact with it. This has a lowered central section with a hole in it. Poised over this is a curved piece of metal and from the open end he observes a wetness slowly swell into a drop that finally falls, striking the metal below with a soft pop.

In a burst of practical insight Learner goes back through the many objects and retrieves an empty, small, open topped container constructed from the rigid transparent material. Carefully he places this directly under the drip and watches happily for some time, until enough water has accumulated for him to take a sip. He screws up his face in disgust at the poisonous aftertaste. Disappointed, he still replaces the container under the drip. After all, in this Heavy Now, he may fail to come across a better source; the very thought makes him shiver.

In a recess below this elaborately formed metal object, Learner is relieved to discover more obvious provisions. Although he does not recognise the plants, he is convinced that they are indeed food. They are old, showing some signs of mould and he presumes that they must form part of an emergency cache. He sniffs them carefully, raising his eyebrows in appreciation at the potatoes (though he does not call them by this name), chuckles a little at the obvious connotations of the carrots and stares wide-eyed at a colossal Swede as he rotates it between his hands. Reassured that he need not starve he continues with his exploration. Later, when he comes back to eat them he is disturbed and disappointed to discover that they too have the taste of poison running through them.

This storage cave, as he now terms it, offers him further opportunities for experiment as it has two elaborate structures, one in each of its narrow sides, that closely resemble the blue stone surround where he makes his scratches to mark the passing days.

It is here that, rather than simply consulting the ancestors, who do not know anyway, Learner begins to practice the word system of thinking, using the little he has learned from his dreaming brother, Erak..

“Nice ‘n’ roun’ ‘e go,” he mutters quietly, tracing the outline of the door frame with his left hand. It helps that Twm is standing in the back of his head so he has someone there to hear the analysis.

“Roun’ ‘e go, all a way. Is good? Is good ‘n’ smooth. Shiny smoothy. What’s he go roun’ den? Eh? Tree bit, is it? Could be, could be tree be, tree bit. Nice ‘n’ broad innit?”

Twm, standing quietly in the back of Learner’s head, gives a little nod of agreement. Encouraged, Learner continues and, accompanied by his own comforting monologue, his hands sensitively explore first the door and finally the handle.

“Oh, ver’ cool, eh? Hand shape, nice ta hold… Whoa! Moves, he moves! He does, all twisty ‘n’ turny ‘n’ up ‘n’ down he go…Whoa man! Wot tha' fuck?”

Learner leaps backward away from the door as it emits a low groan and swings slowly open towards him. He has adopted a crouching, defensive posture allowing a wide choice of further moves such as duelling goat ascending, leaping salmon and of course sow scratches arse on stump. In reserve he holds one of his favourites, flighty deer fucks off fast; both he and Twm are much amused at how one of the dreaming Erak’s power words fits in here so well. He uses it again.

“Fuck ‘im,” he whispers, stifling a giggle, “Shouty hippo or what!”

Then he moves forward to look around the door into the darkness beyond. It is an even tinier and darker cave than before and encloses like a shrine. He sniffs and wrinkles his nose; someone has left an offering.

Thanks for reading. As always, comments welcome, particularly spotting errors that I can correct at some point! One more chapter to come in this batch and then on to Penrhos Forest or Penrhos Wood, the name first appearing in the lists of forests produced by the Normans way back in about 1200 CE.